Randy Fine, a swamp creature so vile even DeSantis hates him, wins special election in Florida

Stick around the ultra-slim-suited and oddly shiny lawyers who have ridden MAGA momentum into power long enough and you’ll notice an archetype. Ivy League-educated sons of the silver-spooned stand tall behind lecterns in GOP-controlled legislatures throughout the United States, pressing their weight down into their Loro Pianas and claiming to speak for the working class.

The Josh Hawleys and Ted Cruzes of the world are all unrepentant strivers, sweating out a concentrated dose of naked ambition that stains the armpits of their tailored shirts a sickly yellow-green and keeps regular people at a respectable distance. Still, even this glossy set of petty tyrants can recognize a creep and a phony in their ranks, sussing which one of their ilk is showing off their veneers for a half-second too long. Matt Gaetz faced the consequences for being one such nauseating twerp. In a sane world, Randy Fine would have, too.